Back to my roots

When I originally started this blog, I thought it would be thrift-specific and a chronicle of my dealings with people at the thrift store, on Craig's List and a chronicle of The Compact. It evolved into a personal journal of sorts with occasional cute stories or photos of the kids and that's how I intend to leave it. A personal journal with occasional thrift stories and occasional kid stories and photos.

Well, folks - today is a thrift story. I had the good fortune to pop into a thrift store yesterday and today. We're getting ready to potty train Ramona so I needed an additional 10 pairs of thin knit pants with elastic waists. 'Cause that's how we roll old-school at the Quimby house (no $.40 cent pull ups here for potty training a 2 year old). I also wanted to take my time with Christmas shopping for the girls and really have enough time and opportunity to get things I know they will like.

Background: I have occasionally purchased a piece or two of very high quality children's toys. Typically hand made out of wood or fabric, once you buy one of these and they have your shipping address, there's no end to the catalogs you receive. Beezus and I love looking through these catalogs - she for just looking, me for familiarizing myself with "what's out there" and for the brand names common to these sorts of time honored and time tested toys. Beezus has particularly looking at the doll houses recently.

Yesterday at the thrift store I found several knit dresses in various sizes for the girls to grow in to, a couple pairs of pants for Ramona, a GORGEOUS Rothschild dress coat and matching hat for Beezus, a sweater for me, and . . . a MATCHING baby doll crib and bouncy seat for Santa Claus. I was pretty excited thinking I have gotten my mojo back !

Then today at a different thrift store, I wandered onto the left side of the store. Now, this thrift store is the size of your average target - and it is divided into two sides, each bearing a different name. You MUST NOT EVER take purchases from one side of the store to the other. (Doesn't make sense to you either? You're in good company.) The left side of the store is called Unique Thrift has brown carpet and the right side is Value Village and has a tile floor. Generally, most regulars routinely go either left or right first. Until recently, I was a solid right side shopper. I thought the aisles were wider, the children's section more well stocked, and the prices lower. I frequently would not even go over to the left side. Today, for some reason, I found myself going left first - AS IF PULLED MYSTERIOUSLY THERE BY SOME FORCE. As I wandered by the section where the "big" toys are, I saw some unpainted wood out of the corner of my eye. Upon closer inspection I found that it was a Ryan's Room dollhouse. I hesitated - the wood itself was in good condition, but some child had been permitted to use neon craft paint on it. (Yes, Elaine, I know that is normal, but I think my heart stopped beating a little bit.) But the wood is true wood, not laminate, so the paint can be taken off, and the ladder was there, which is pretty important, and there was probably 20 pieces of furniture (unfortunately all painted day glo colors). It was marked $34.94. I hesitated - Mr. Quimby and I are REALLY trying to save money and while I knew at the time that the dollhouse likely retailed for over $100 I was nervous about the work it might take to get the paint off (it's not a good paint job). As I stood there considering it, I flung myself on top of it anytime somebody walked by lest they think it was unspoken for. I decided that it was a justifiable purchase, since it was on my mental Christmas list.

I take it up to the register, and the woman tells me that it's 50% off, because all big toys are 50% off today. I kid you not, I kept repeating "oh my gosh, oh my gosh" and then I proceeded to GET TEARY. Seriously - who cries at the thrift store? Evidently I do.

After that stroke of good luck, I suspected that my mojo was DEFINITELY back. I found a BEKA wooden easel. Marked for sale as $4.94, it was also 50% off. (People - the retail price of the model I found would have been $143.00 !!!) Made in the good old US of A, heavy as shit, I could barely get it up to the register. Then I found a ton of leggings for Ramona, a kid sized backpack for Ramona (EVERY SINGLE MORNING there is debate over who is going to carry Beezus' backpack out to the car. Every single morning, Ramona asks Beezus, Beezus says no (which I totally support), Ramona cries, Beezus then yells at ME because Ramona is crying, and then Beezus gives her backpack to Ramona thereby reinforcing to Ramona that if you cry you will get what you want. Awesome. How do you solve that? Buy another backpack for $2.42. )

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I've been thinking for some time about making this blog more anonymous and have finally decided to go ahead and do the work. Effective immediately, I will be going back and changing the girls names and my husband's name.


In honor of one of my very favorite families in children's literature, my family will now be known at the Quimby family. I will remain Thrift Store Mama, my husband will here fore be known as Mr. Quimby (or Mr. Q for short). My eldest daughter will be Beezus and my younger daughter will be Ramona. I am able to make this segue because Mrs. Quimby, given her abundance of common sense, was most likely a thrifty person. I'm sure there is some evidence that I could find that would substantiate this (particularly when Mr. Quimby lost his job) but you'll just have to take my word for it that it's a logical segue.


I'm gaining some new readers (yay!!!) and think that I may want to write about some more senisitive topics, but do not want to restrict access to my blog.


Any questions?

Dear Anon,

Dear Anon 1,

There are so many things that I want to say to you. I look forward to reading your blog everyday - and not because it's filled with cute kid or funny fart stories. Far from it. Reading your blog is painful, it makes the center of my heart hurt and my eyes fill with tears. But I check - usually 2 to 3 times a day - to see if you've posted anything new.

You've mentioned a couple times that you don't want people to feel sorry for you. I promise that I won't - I can tell that you really fear this. What I do feel is a deep sadness for what you went through as a child losing your parent, and the grieving process that you have to continue to confront. But what I feel even more than that is admiration for you. Admiration for being willing to take this on - to confront your grief for the good of your family and your own mental health. Admiration for speaking out loud your fears of death.

It's pretty amazing.

After almost every post, I want to write a long comment, because many times the things that you say resonate so strongly with me - sometimes because my husband also suffers from the loss of a parent at a young age. But other times what resonates is your emotion - even though we have such different situations with our parents. The way that you describe your emotion seems to cut across the circumstantial situation. I identify with your longing to make things right and the unyielding, unbearable pressure of trying to get it right all the time is just too much. I feel that sometimes too - that I want to squeeze my head and freeze time so that I can get this "just right."

What I think you have failed to realize (understandably so since writing your entries must be mentally and emotionally exhausting) is that you are helping people and making an impact. You remind me to cherish the moments with my children, yet allow me to laugh at myself for trying to inject meaning into everything. You encourage others to confront those things which keep them awake and night and interfere with total mental health. If your worst fears are realized (which I pray they will not be but I don't want to trivialize them all the same) and you die young, you are leaving a love letter of sorts for your children. What better reason to keep writing ?

You recently said, "what I am able to express in writing pales in comparison to the intensity of the moments and feelings I want to relate." I fear that this is the case with this very blog entry, so I am going to try again.

1. You write a great blog.
2. I believe that it is good for you.
3. I know that it is good for me and for others.
4. While I am deeply, deeply, sad for you, I do not feel sorry for you (per your request).
5. Please keep writing.
6. Please keep writing.

Love,
Thrift Store Mama

P.S. Sorry for the cryptic blog post. A friend recently started an anonymous private blog. It has affected me profoundly and I wanted to record that for myself - and for my friend.

Round up

I had a hysterical post in my head regarding some futile conversations that I've had with Beezus and Ramona while trying to reason with them. I put it together while waiting to fall asleep a couple nights ago. I was excited about it and proud of the cleverness of it. Now a few days later, other than the title, which was to be "Conversations in Futility" I can't remember another damn thing about it.

I'm away from home for a couple nights staying at a local swanky hotel while running a meeting. I'm sad - and I'm terrified that I won't be able to sleep through the night which I believe is the ONLY redeeming thing about being away from my family for work. (But I am enjoying watching tv which we often don't get to do on weeknights.)

We had a wonderful trip to NJ this past weekend to attend a party hosted by one of Mr. Quimby's siblings for his mother's 80th birthday. It was really moving to see Mr. Quimby and ALL of his living 7 siblings pose for a photo with his mother. It also reminded me of the importance of sustaining (or in some cases, building) Mr. Quimby's relationships with his siblings. The travel part of it was, frankly, awesome despite all my worries.

Turns out we didn't forget a single thing. I don't attribute that to a list - I attribute it to the fact that the girls went to school in the morning while Mr. Quimby and I packed. We typically are packing at 11pm at night, which may explain why we usually forget one thing, despite using a list.

But the travel part ? It was a dream. Other than a cranky 15 minutes on the drive up and the drive back, and a rough 20 minutes while trying to get the girls to fall asleep in the same room in the hotel the first night, the rest of it was a breeze.

Wait. But even as I write that I'm reminded that there were other blips in the road. The first night we let the girls stay up late and by the time we got them into bed (which was only an hour late for Ramona at that point) she got a second wind, and then a third wind, and then a fourth wind. She didn't fall asleep until 11 pm !!!! There were other blips, too.

But, life is different now. The blips are only blips instead of bottomless potholes.

Having an almost 2 1/2 year old and an almost 4 1/4 year old seems to be a breeze compared to years past. I feel like I leave that comment frequently on other's people blogs - particularly people with infants who are sleep deprived. It. gets. easier. The TSM from 18 months ago knew that it would get easier, but oh my good gosh, it's so hard to remember that when you are so tired !!! This past weekend makes me feel hopeful - and even MORE excited about the future and the travels I hope we will embark on together.

Yard Sale

Some residents in our town pulled together and had a town wide yard sale a couple weeks ago. Since the stupid weather forecast said that there was an 80% chance of rain and then it didn’t rain, I didn’t wind up putting out all the stuff that I wanted to. Just two lonely toys went out. But the coolest part? I didn’t sit out there all day minding them…I put a sign on them that indicated the price and asked to “just put the money in the mailbox on the front porch.” It was a leap of faith, but I was only asking $8 total and I figured it was no great loss if somebody just took them without paying.

With the rain today, I spent all morning setting them out when it was dry and then pulling them back in when it was raining. Back and forth.

After I took my power nap with Beezus, I got up and heard the rain pouring down. “Oh no, I thought. They’ll be soaked, I’ll never sell them now !” I look out side and the toys aren’t there. I look in the mailbox … and there is a $10 bill ! ! !

My faith is even greater now in my fellow humans !!!

Co-op Recap

Although the co-op sale was several weeks ago now, I still haven't thoroughly sorted through all my leftovers.


All in all, the sale went well. I did an awesome job on publicity. One of the other members of the publicity committee pulled out of publicity 15 days before the sale. Frankly, she stinks because I e-mailed her twice far in advance of the sale with a general idea of what her responsibilities so that she could go ahead and allocate some time. I've now figured out that there was no big reason that she pulled out of the sale, so it's not like somebody was sick or died or something. Seriously, she totally stinks. I cast the net pretty far and wide with publicity - mailings to over 144 home daycares, pre-schools and churches, flyers posted in local businesses, e-mail postings on all the local parenting listservs, and flyer distribution at the ESL adult education classes that I used to teach. For next year, I also want to place an ad in the local Spanish language newspapers.


Setting up the sale took longer this year because we made some changes last year but nobody could remember what they were, and because we had some new signs. There were lots of cool things, too. I realized that sometimes people do nice things for me not only because they support the idea, but because they know that it's important to me. My friend June did that - she came through with these great sign holders borrowed from something else she does - and she had to go to some minor trouble to do so. Another woman took a lot of time making up the new signs - and when they weren't perfect she e-mailed her partner at work on a Friday afternoon and had her partner print them up at work because she wanted them to be perfect. It was just nice to see other people so invested in the sale.


I cleaned out a lot of baby things from my cabinets. I actually don't care as much whether they sold or not (although they all did) it's more important that I get them out of my cabinets.


The old-timers have often said that what you sell from year to year depends largely on whether someone "like you" shows up at the sale. Overalls may not sell one year, but the next year 4 pairs of them will sell. The most interesting thing I sold was my trays for making homemade baby food. David and I made almost all of Beezus's baby food (you may recall that Ramona didn't like babyfood). I had 4 of them in beautiful condition and I decided to sell them for $5 a piece (they retail for $13). I really didn't expect to sell them - it would require someone who not only knew what they were for, but also who wanted to make homemade baby food AND who knew that $5 was a fantastic price for them. I packaged them nicely, printing out the page from the website so that it was clear what they were for and what the retail price was. Still, I was SHOCKED that all 4 of them sold. It was just pure luck!


The pending big announcement that some of you may be aware of was not made yet. I'm hopeful it's coming soon, because I can't hold it in much longer.

Genius-osity

For about a year now I've had a problem.


And that problem deals with what to have Beezus wear to bed at night. She's been potty trained for almost 2 years and hasn't wet regularly at night for about a year. But I cannot pull the trigger and let her sleep without a pull-up. Because as often as I/we are teetering on the brink of drowning under the domestic chores there's no way I'm going to take a chance and have to wash some sheets out of rotation. No damn way.


But pull-ups are like at least $ . 40 each. And while I would let her wear the same one two nights in a row, even I draw the line after that. Diapers aren't an option because Mr. Quimby takes her to the bathroom at 11pm and a diaper would make that process too cumbersome.


But then a couple of nights ago it hit me in the head like a ton of bricks and I felt SO STUPID for not figuring this out a year ago !!!


Now she wears her underwear next to her body and just wears a pull-up on top of that. The pull up will last for several days before it starts to get all misshapen and the underwear ensures cleanliness. Well, at least as clean as a 4 year old can be !!!


I am a genius. Well, at least I would be if I had this revelation a year ago.